Friday, February 02, 2007
___time to rest
I'm tired and I just want to sleep an entire day away but it seems like the only full off-day I have is always on sunday and on sunday I always have so many things to do. I really want to sleep away all that's troubling me and frustrating me and making me lethargic and unhappy. Somehow or other, I don't know why I can't seem to feel happy and I just want to go the beach and have dinner under the stars and laugh and chat and have fun. Maybe that'll make me feel better.
I'm just so tired and I want to run away but at the same time I don't want to leave. It sarks being so contradictory. I need to have the time and the mood to go shopping and I don't understand how people can work so much yet still have the energy to go shopping and clubbing and have a lifestyle that normal people have. I want to have the energy to continue playing percussion. I realise how much I miss it and how much I want to pursue what makes me happy.
Suddenly I wonder how many people feel unhappy for like three-quarters of their lives. I've realised it's so possible. I don't think I've felt genuinely happy for almost 2 months, in that I haven't jumped up and down in joy or beamed uncontrollably or screamed out loud in excitement. I haven't had that sense of bubbling joy which brought so much more colour to my school life (actually more of band life) for so long. And I don't know why and what is bogging me down. Ah maybe it's just pms, since it is that time of the month.
timecheck: 10:52 AM