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EVERYTHING I'M NOT

The world can drive one crazy
But a smile can bring me through.
Reminding myself not to be unhappy
Because the world has its beauty.

hengss. 19 years old.
rvcb. njcsb
band - my passion.
friends - my happiness.
family - my love.
God - my life.


BACKDOORS

alison
amelia
boon han
caijie
charlene [rv]
charlene [nj]
chong!
christina
christine
cindy
dionne
edo
eileen
emmiline
enghong
erwin
esther
guanyou
haoguang
huiwen
jason
jean
jiamin [rv]
kakeru
mavis
melvin
minmin
mr choy
my liL sis
peiying
qingyang
rhoda
rouyin
ruth
thomas
vanessa
xueyi
yanru
youzhi
yulin
zhiyu
nj percussion!
05A02!
blogger
blogskins


HIGH OF 75




CREDITS

images: deviantart
but edited by me
designer: mixtape
Friday, February 02, 2007

___time to rest

I'm tired and I just want to sleep an entire day away but it seems like the only full off-day I have is always on sunday and on sunday I always have so many things to do. I really want to sleep away all that's troubling me and frustrating me and making me lethargic and unhappy. Somehow or other, I don't know why I can't seem to feel happy and I just want to go the beach and have dinner under the stars and laugh and chat and have fun. Maybe that'll make me feel better.

I'm just so tired and I want to run away but at the same time I don't want to leave. It sarks being so contradictory. I need to have the time and the mood to go shopping and I don't understand how people can work so much yet still have the energy to go shopping and clubbing and have a lifestyle that normal people have. I want to have the energy to continue playing percussion. I realise how much I miss it and how much I want to pursue what makes me happy.

Suddenly I wonder how many people feel unhappy for like three-quarters of their lives. I've realised it's so possible. I don't think I've felt genuinely happy for almost 2 months, in that I haven't jumped up and down in joy or beamed uncontrollably or screamed out loud in excitement. I haven't had that sense of bubbling joy which brought so much more colour to my school life (actually more of band life) for so long. And I don't know why and what is bogging me down. Ah maybe it's just pms, since it is that time of the month.


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