___band camp 06!
It's been a camp of emotions. I think I'm someone being constantly bombarded by emotions. Hurt, anger, irritation, disappointment, joy, excitement, boredom. Somehow or other, I've been through quite a lot this camp.
It's only when you're among the planners that you realise how hard it is to get everything running smoothly when you don't even have the support of the people who are supposedly on your side. It gets really demoralising to see us being so disunited, and I'm seriously becoming very disillusioned with stuff like that. How some people can simply be so irresponsible and not take the initiative to do things, or to be concerned about things. It gets on my nerves, but it's just not in me to go up to them and confront them about it. So I end up whining to everyone! And I feel so bad for saying bad things about people. It seems like recently I just have a lot of negative things to say about people. Argh it's not a good sign at all.
I think I'm an extremely quarrelsome person and I hate being like that. But I don't know why I always end up the one involved in quarrels with people. It makes me wonder if I'm a hateful person. My new resolution for the year is to stop quarreling with people and to tolerate anybody whom I get irritated with so I won't go around complaining about that person. Okay this is rather hard for me to stick to but I shall just TRY. I feel bad sometimes when I go on and on about negative things seen in people, because it's just so vindictive.
Anyway, band camp was still a good learning experience. The intensive practice helped quite a bit in focussing our efforts on playing better. And camp is always a time to bond people together, especially between the J1s and the J2s. I think I got to know a few more people better. Exco games was okay in the end, not as scary being ghosts as much as I thought it would be. Maybe it was because jiamin was there to keep me and cindy company! Hmmm I'm really grateful to this girl for doing our makeup because it turned out so successful in the end! Anyway, I think I'm not a very frightening ghost. And seriously I perpetually kept my head down because I was really trying to control my laughter! haha. It's just so funny seeing people so scared of me because I'm usually taken as a living joke.
One more thing down. Getting closer and closer to Etude. I seriously think there's a lack of time and I'm just on my nerves because everything is moving ahead so fast.
timecheck: 9:49 AM
