___frustrated
I seriously didn't want to blog about this. Because I hate blogging about sensitive issues. But I just don't think it's very fair to me.
Sometimes when people snap unknowingly, they think back about it and they realise that they weren't very right at that point in time. But I guess it just didn't run through your head to consider the things you said, the tone you used. And the only reason why I didn't want to bring it up is because I know that bringing it up would just make you more pissed off and irritated. Is it so wrong to just vent my own frustration in my own way? And perhaps if you think about it, you would realise that what I do is so similar to the way you vent your anger too.
I'm not trying to say that I should be absolved of all blame. But I really hope you would stop thinking that all I want to do is to go against you. I don't want to. It's just that at times like this, maybe thinking into things is a good thing to do. Because I'm stuck in a rut. I know that saying it out would make you pissed off, and not saying means that I will be in a perpetual bad mood. Would you really rather have me point it out straight in our face? Wouldn't you hate that even more? Withdrawing into a bad mood towards you is just to escape for a while. And I choose to be in a bad mood only towards you because I don't think it's fair to the rest if I do that to them. If I can't even do that, what else can I do? Act all smiley though I'm just not feeling like it?
I've let go so many times, times which perhaps you don't know about and you never thought about. All I want to say is that it's not just effort on your part, that I do struggle too. So many times I've felt like bursting out in anger too, but I just kept it inside me. Is it fair for you to announce to me that you're about to do that?
I've been feeling so left out recently and it's a sad feeling.
timecheck: 8:45 AM
