___emotionally confused
Why do I feel so empty, or actually, lost? I think I seriously need emotional support. At this time in my life, I feel I need a good cry, to release all my confused emotions. I need to feel stable, to feel loved, to feel secure, to feel important. I need a shoulder for me to lean on, a ear for me to whine in, I need hugs. Why am I suddenly feeling this way? Perhaps because I havent experienced a peak in my life in NJC yet so far. So my emotions have become scattered all over the place. And I pray from the bottom of my heart that the peak will come in the form of our band SYF results.
I want to be able to cry for the music that NJ band plays, to be touched to the point that my heart is soaring whenever the band plays. As SYF approaches, the more emotionally unstable I get. I am so afraid. So, so afraid. Yet, I am so full of hope. So, so full of hope. I see ourselves crying with joy, I see us standing up in front of the whole school announcing our results with pride. I don't want to see this rosy picture being destroyed. I want us to play our music with joy in our hearts, to feel, to let the music infuse our heart and soul. This is the only way that people can see our heartfelt emotions for what we are playing. And this is the only way that we can do well. Let's all FEEL the music, let us all cry for the music which touches our heart. We can do it.
Meanwhile, I'm depending on you, my friends, to put up with me. To put up with my sort-of-depressed state. Perhaps I'm just too busy feeling sorry for myself in this state of emotional confusion. I need a day of havoc. To let me just go crazy once again.
timecheck: 6:50 AM
